ANZAC Plans Leaked!!

ANZAC plans leaked!!

It has been revealed that the HITS, Brisbane punk rawk regulars, have planned to commemorate ANZAC Day by staging an European invasion.  

Good on ya punks!   What better way to remember the sacrifice of the fallen, than by showing that the freedom so dearly paid for now enables rock'n'roll to cross borders and be shared by the commonwealth of man?  Well fought; well won!  Steady on!

It now appears, after spending their time in the trenches, HITS are ready to go over the top.  Hardened by countless gigs throughout Australia where they've been joined by bands ranging from local slap bass playing beach hippies to legends of surf rock like The Lime Spiders and The New Christs.  The time is at hand to venture further afield.  So, starting 27 April, time enough for the band to recover from jetlag and their own sordid ANZAC Day celebrations, HITS will be laying siege to rock venues across Belgium, Holland and France.

For those of you who are uninitiated, the line up for this foray to Europe consists of:

EVIL DICK – on Evil vocals and equally Evil guitar.  That’s right, evil with a capital “E”;

TAMARA DAWN BELL – playing guitar with raw fingers until the dawn and with vocals as incessant as a tolling bell;

GREGOR – freed from his incarceration in a Kafka novel and bugging out on drums and vocals;

STACEY COLEMAN- tearing away on her guitar and smacking out vocals like they owed her money; and none other than

ANDY B – bass, shhhh, he’s on loan, but may not be returned.  No hippie assed slap bass here, this is the real deal with hooks that reverberate off your spine and draw your attention like a car wreck.

Sources unrelated to the band confirmed that it was simply time to go abroad for this punk rawk powerhouse.  “Sure, they could stay in Oz, kicking about, opening for various punk legends, but it’s time to hit the gravel.  Europe won’t know what hit them, but will be better for it.”

No doubt.  What should the Euro-soon-to-be-fans expect?  They should expect to be stunned.  To be horrified.  To be rocked, shaken and battered, only to regain consciousness and want to do it all again. 

This won’t be the catchy ditty that Goyte is drawing attention to the Australian music and HITS aren’t someone that you used to know.  The same unverified source claimed that the band has commented, “we could sit around and watch our American TV, or we could do something on our own.  We’ve been working our asses off getting on stage with good acts.  Now it’s time to leave our mark and develop further that only being on road can do.” 

Good acts is an understatement.  Acts that include The Lime Spiders, The New Christs, The New York Dolls and even The Damned, at least before The Damned show was cancelled.  This isn’t some “just add boys” creation of Simon Cowell, like Brisbane has recently seen, this is primordial rock’n’roll at it’s most base with only One Direction to go – straight to your brain. 

But Australia has had a long tradition of great acts.  Great acts that have gone abroad, gone on the road, ventured where Eagles Dare all in the pursuit of rock'n'roll.  Why now?  Why for HITS? Why Europe?  Well some speculation is that they are merely trying to develop a more caustic edge for an upcoming album (perhaps produced by Rob Younger given the prevalence of opening appearances by HITS for The New Christs).  Maybe to avoid debt collectors from Gold Coast or maybe because Europe offers better beer than America and no chance of seeing Reo Speedwagon fans.  Regardless of what this mystery revolves around, it will be Europe’s gain and HITS will return to Oz stronger, louder and more punk.

Even now, you know that this is going to be loud.  Louder than bombs and louder than everyone else.  

You just know that the scene is going to unfold with Gregor getting ready to visit harm upon his drum kit, pumping his arms to get the blood flowing, whilst fixated to Evil Dick’s eyes saying, “Springs.  Steel springs.  Me arms are steel springs.” 

And then Andy shouting down at Tamara, “how fast can you play?”  To which she replies, “Fast.  Fast as a leopard. " 

Itinerary / Tour Poster

  

So Europe, get your asses to a show near you and get ready for HITS to come out of the trenches and over the top.

Ready?

Aye, ready.  

Steady lads... On my whistle...