ANZAC plans
leaked!!
It has been
revealed that the HITS, Brisbane punk rawk regulars, have planned to
commemorate ANZAC Day by staging an European invasion.
Good on ya punks!
What better way to remember the sacrifice of the fallen, than by showing
that the freedom so dearly paid for now enables rock'n'roll to cross borders
and be shared by the commonwealth of man? Well fought; well won! Steady on!
It now appears,
after spending their time in the trenches, HITS are ready to go over the top.
Hardened by countless gigs throughout Australia where they've been joined
by bands ranging from local slap bass playing beach hippies to legends of surf
rock like The Lime Spiders and The New
Christs. The time is at hand
to venture further afield. So,
starting 27 April, time enough for the band to recover from jetlag and their
own sordid ANZAC Day celebrations, HITS will be laying siege to rock venues
across Belgium, Holland and France.
For those of you
who are uninitiated, the line up for this foray to Europe consists of:
EVIL DICK – on Evil vocals and equally Evil
guitar. That’s right, evil with a capital “E”;
TAMARA DAWN BELL – playing guitar with raw fingers
until the dawn and with vocals as incessant as a tolling bell;
GREGOR – freed from his incarceration in a Kafka
novel and bugging out on drums and vocals;
STACEY COLEMAN- tearing away on her guitar and
smacking out vocals like they owed her money; and none other than
ANDY B – bass, shhhh, he’s on loan, but may not be
returned. No hippie assed slap bass here, this is the real deal with
hooks that reverberate off your spine and draw your attention like a car wreck.
Sources unrelated
to the band confirmed that it was simply time to go abroad for this punk rawk
powerhouse. “Sure, they could stay in Oz, kicking about, opening for
various punk legends, but it’s time to hit the gravel. Europe won’t know
what hit them, but will be better for it.”
No doubt.
What should the Euro-soon-to-be-fans expect? They should expect to be
stunned. To be horrified. To be rocked, shaken and battered, only
to regain consciousness and want to do it all again.
This won’t be the
catchy ditty that Goyte is drawing attention to the Australian music and
HITS aren’t someone that you used to know. The same unverified source
claimed that the band has commented, “we could sit around and watch our American
TV, or we could do something on our own. We’ve been working our asses
off getting on stage with good acts. Now it’s time to leave our mark and
develop further that only being on road can do.”
Good acts is an
understatement. Acts that include The Lime Spiders, The New Christs,
The New York Dolls and even The Damned, at least before The
Damned show was cancelled. This isn’t some “just add boys” creation
of Simon Cowell, like Brisbane has recently seen, this is primordial
rock’n’roll at it’s most base with only One
Direction to go – straight to your brain.
But Australia has
had a long tradition of great acts. Great acts that have gone abroad,
gone on the road, ventured where Eagles Dare all in the pursuit of
rock'n'roll. Why now? Why
for HITS? Why Europe? Well some speculation is that they are merely
trying to develop a more caustic edge for an upcoming album (perhaps produced
by Rob Younger given the prevalence of opening appearances by HITS for The
New Christs). Maybe to avoid debt collectors from Gold Coast or maybe
because Europe offers better beer than America and no chance of seeing Reo
Speedwagon fans. Regardless of
what this mystery revolves around, it will be Europe’s gain and HITS will
return to Oz stronger, louder and more punk.
Even now, you
know that this is going to be loud. Louder than bombs and louder than
everyone else.
You just know
that the scene is going to unfold with Gregor getting ready to visit harm upon
his drum kit, pumping his arms to get the blood flowing, whilst fixated to Evil
Dick’s eyes saying, “Springs. Steel springs. Me arms are steel
springs.”
And then Andy
shouting down at Tamara, “how fast can you play?” To which she replies,
“Fast. Fast as a leopard. "
 |
| Itinerary / Tour Poster |
So Europe, get
your asses to a show near you and get ready for HITS to come out of the
trenches and over the top.
Ready?
Aye, ready.
Steady lads... On
my whistle...
